Mothers Have Gone to The Dogs

Alice Brady in My Man Godfrey (1936)

When I was a boy, I became familiar with lots of stock characters in comedy films.  One of those stock characters was the ditzy society matron who carried around a small dog like it was her baby.  The dog was usually named Fifi.  This character was well represented by Mrs. Drysdale, who I saw every week on The Beverly Hillbillies.

I also remember Lisa Douglas (Eva Gabor) on Green Acres.  She had a Yorkshire Terrier named Mignon.

These women also showed up in old movies.

Deadlier than the Male (1956)

 

 Love in the Afternoon (1957)

Moonfleet (1955)

But then something strange happened.  Fifteen years ago, Paris Hilton transformed this comic image into a glamorous image.  A trend ensued.  It became common to see a young woman lovingly clasping a small dog in her arms.  Suddenly, Mrs. Drysdale was everywhere I looked.

Paris Hilton was a useful idiot.  For the last fifty years, feminists have gradually brainwashed women into believing they shouldn't become mothers.  But no amount of brainwashing could eliminate the natural urge that women have to hold, care for, and love a baby.  What to do?  Though the maternal drive cannot be eliminated, there are definite ways that it can be tricked.  Think of a person satisfying their craving to smoke by sucking on a lollipop.  So, like Mrs. Drysdale, a woman can now satisfy their craving to be a mother by holding, caring for, loving and even dressing up a dog.  The dog, despite its rugged wilderness origins, could not be any happier to substitute for the baby that its owner truly desires.  It is a grotesque masquerade.  It is a bizarre form of mass hypnosis.  We can call this The Drysdale Syndrome.  We can call it The Fifi Effect.  Whatever we call it, it is a disturbing turn of events.  We now have something that belongs in a comedy film existing everywhere in the real world.