Sunday, October 3, 2010

Is Television Production Safe for Young and Old Actors?


The title of Jackie Cooper's autobiography, "Please Don't Shoot My Dog," came out of the fact that, when Cooper was a child, director Norman Taurog got him to cry in a scene by telling him that he had just shot his dog. This came to mind as I was watching a scene in the premiere episode of Boardwalk Empire. The small girl in this scene is genuinely frightened to witness an argument between her pretend parents. The father shouts angrily, he curses, he shakes mommy, and he finally strikes the woman across the face. The girl finally bursts out in tears. The art of film making is not so important that it justifies scaring a little girl out of her wits to accomplish a dramatic scene.


I am always wary seeing small children and babies used in movies and television shows. The uncredited baby currently appearing weekly on the Fox sitcom Raising Hope is often in the middle of the show's broad physical comedy. The producers of the show assure the public that the baby is never in danger. Mikey O'Connell reported on the zap2it website, "[A]ll of the jokes at baby Hope's expense are smoke and mirrors." Still, it doesn't seem that this type of activity should be part of a baby's daily routine.



Am I being the disapproving old woman snooping behind the curtain?

It has long been a pet peeve of mine to see a newborn used in a birth scene. I felt extremely protective of my son when he was first born and nothing could have persuaded me to put this fragile newborn fellow into the hands of a film crew.

In California, infants can start working when they are 15 days old as long as a doctor's note can be provided to assure the infant is in good health and is sufficiently developed to withstand the stress of film making. California has more regulations than any other state when it comes to protecting child actors, but these regulations may not be good enough. Paul Peterson, president of the child-actor support group A Minor Consideration, alleged that, in 1995, the production team of ER filmed a birth scene using preemies. "They were still four weeks short of their due date, and they were brought in to work," said Peterson. Peterson became aware of the incident when he was contacted by the nurse caring for the infants on the set. The producers denied this ever happened and no charges were ever brought against them.

Babies simply need more care and attention than they are able to receive on a film set. In 1994, a production coordinator on Chicago Hope asked the 20th Century Fox medical department if it would be acceptable to sedate an infant for a scene where the infant is supposed to be anesthetized. Janet Fisher, the supervisor of the medical department, put an immediate stop to these plans. She sent out a memo in which she explained the risk of sedating an infant and made it clear that an infant should never be sedated for non-medical purposes. The production coordinator embarrassed himself just by asking this callous question.

Filmmakers prefer to avoid animatronic infants as the results are less than convincing and sometimes even creepy. This is demonstrated by another scene in Boardwalk Empire.


A recent episode of 30 Rock was able to do without a newborn in a birth scene and even got a couple of laughs out of it.



The people busy making a television show are usually too preoccupied to consider a child's welfare. Gina Gillespie, who was a busy child actor in the 1950s and 1960s, remembered the cast and crew expecting child actors to act like adults. They were to know their lines, hit their marks, and never do anything to cause delays. Scenes had to be completed and no one had time to coddle a child. Gillespie said that her worst experience occurred when Loretta Young was directing her in a scene. Young asked Gillespie to move to another part of the set and, when the little girl failed to move fast enough for her, she snatched her up, carried her across the set, and dropped her where she wanted her to be.

Of course, all of these incidents pale in comparison to the tragedy that occurred during the production of Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983). The story is well known. Two children were placed in the middle of a war scene by director John Landis. The children, accompanied by actor Vic Morrow, had to race across a distance while pyrotechnic explosions were set off around them and a low-flying helicopter pursued them overhead. One of the explosions damaged the helicopter's rotor blade, causing the helicopter to crash on top of Morrow and the children. It was a shame.

Actors at the other end of the age spectrum also require special care and attention, but the actors and their fans find the effort to be worthwhile.

It is no secret that we are more fragile in our later years than we are in our early years and health and safety concerns need to become a priority when a lead actor is over the age of 70. . This is a timely subject as three veteran television actors have recently returned to series television. 88-year-old Betty White is a curmudgeonly old landlady in Hot in Cleveland, 79-year-old William Shatner is a curmudgeonly old father in $#*! My Dad Says, and 84-year-old Cloris Leachman is a curmudgeonly old granny in Raising Hope. It should be hard for these actors to distinguish themselves while having to play the same standard utility role, but none of these old troupers seem daunted by the challenge.

The producers of Hot in Cleveland admitted to arranging a less than rigorous shooting schedule for White. ''They were making all these concessions where I felt like a heel if I said no!'' said White. Still, the producers of these series generally keep mum about health and safety concerns as it can distract from the primary objective of the series to get laughs. Also, the actors do not want to reveal health problems as it could prevent them from getting work. This is the reason that 73-year-old Jack Palance found it necessary to perform one-armed push-ups on a live Oscar telecast. He was in fact able to continue acting for another twelve years.

While Shatner's current working conditions have not been publicized, it is known that producer David E. Kelley took special measures to assure safe conditions during the filming of Shatner's last series, Boston Legal. Kelly kept well-equipped medics on premises. The law offices of the show were made to look as if they had waxed marble floors, but these floors in fact had a rubberized grip to prevent falls. Shatner was often depicted having a smoke on a high balcony in the chill of the New England night, but these scenes were actually shot on secure warehouse stages.

David Jason found that, at age 70, he no longer had the energy to play the feisty Inspector Frost and elected to end the ITV series A Touch of Frost with one last daring action scene.


The long-running BBC series, The Last of the Summer Wine, features an assembly of pensioners involved in slapstick antics. The producers of the series learned better than anyone how to create madcap silliness with old actors while satisfying the insurance underwriters.


All in all, I would like to see more old actors on television and less young ones.

The Lost Weekend Duology

Summer of Sexual Deviance at the Multiplex



It never occurred to me that Frankenstein (1931) would have been a better film if it ended with the monster raping Dr. Frankenstein and his bride. Yet, this is the idea at the root of Splice (2010), a re-imagining of the Frankenstein legend that uses gene splicing in place of body part splicing and brings a sense of sexual allure and erotic tension to the misguided scientists determined to play God.

The storyline for My Favorite Year (1982) never suggested to me Peter O'Toole should arrange a threesome with Mark Linn-Baker and Jessica Harper. However, this is more or less route taken by Nicholas Stoller, the writer and director of Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008), as he reworks the premise of My Favorite Year for Get Him to the Greek (2010).

In old horror films, a mad scientist would stitch together body parts to create a fascinating new creature. The Thing with Two Heads (1972) took this idea to a new level by depicting transplant surgeons joining two heads together onto a single body. It did not seem that this practice could get any more outrageous until the recent release of The Human Centipede (2009), which shows a sadistic surgeon joining three comely young people together by using his stitching prowess to fashion a gruesome mouth-to-anus union.

Sexual deviance does not breathe new life into an old story or make a trite film daring and edgy. These desperate updates come across as nothing more than juvenile, twisted and crass.


Friday, August 20, 2010

The Return of the Smoke Monster

I was surprised to discover that the finale of Lost was lifted directly from a 2006 television movie called Desperation, which was based on a Stephen King novel.  Here are screen captures from Desperation.

Tell me if the plot of Desperation sounds familiar. A ragtag group of strangers bands together to battle an evil force that has occupied the body of the local sheriff. When this force has worn out his host's body, it manifests itself as a smoke monster. In the end, a man who is seeking redemption chooses to sacrifice his life to seal "The Well of Life," a hole in the Earth concealed deep down inside an abandoned mine. The well emits a golden glow and it is surrounded by ancient religious artifacts. The last shot of the hero before he dies shows him lying on his back and staring upwards. The closing scene of the film reveals that the man has reunited in the afterlife with other victims of the evil force.


So, in other words, I waited six years for Lost to give me a recycled ending.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

The Morons are Back

The eighth volume of The Three Stooges Collection, which was released this month, brings together the last of the Stooges shorts released by Columbia Pictures from 1955 to 1959. This covers the last shorts with Shemp, who died in 1955, and the last sixteen shorts in the series featuring Joe Besser as the "third Stooge."




The obvious shortcoming of the series during this period was its extensive use of stock footage, which was often sloppily thrown together with new footage in a desperate attempt to create a new product for exhibitors. The sloppy editing is particularly evident in Triple Crossed (1959), a remake of He Cooked His Goose (1952) with Besser substituting for Shemp. Stock footage from the original film was so badly assembled with the new footage that, at one point, Shemp eerily turns up in the middle of a chase scene. This collection also includes the four infamous "fake Shemp" comedies that were made directly after Shemp's death. The Stooges had yet to find a replacement and finished pending productions by disguising another actor (Joe Palma) as Shemp. Palma is wearing a long wig meant to approximate Shemp's unruly, flyaway hair and he jerks his shoulders up and down repeatedly while sputtering Shemp's trademark "eeeb-eeeb-eeeb!" The results are not pretty. Right now, somewhere in Heaven, Lloyd Bentsen is telling Palma, "You are no Shemp Howard."


Still, with all that said, I still enjoyed this collection. The Three Stooges were undoubtedly giving it their all in the final years of the series. Shemp, despite his waning energy, remained funny to his dying day. Shemp performs an entertaining dance with a she-devil in Bedlam in Paradise (1955).


He has an amusing battle with an automatic dishwasher in Gypped in the Penthouse (1955).

The entire team is funny as they struggle futilely to free themselves after accidentally becoming handcuffed together in Blunder Boys (1955).

Joe Besser, as Shemp's replacement, made an acceptable Stooge. In the earlier solo vehicles that he made at Columbia, Besser played an angry, know-it-all character who was more often abrasive than funny. However, his character was softened in the Stooges series to make him more like the childlike character that Curly had played in the earlier years of the series. Besser was at his best in Flying Saucer Daffy (1958), which was unfortunately the last production of the series.


The Stooge comedies from Besser years made little use of stock footage and the new material, while not the Stooges' best, was often enough funny or at least intriguing. The Nine Stooges make their debut in A Merry Mix-up (1957), in which it is revealed that the Stooges are in fact three sets of identical twins.

The Stooges meet up with cannibal amazons in Space Ship Sappy (1957).


On the topical side is Oil's Well That Ends Well (1958), in which the Stooges have to cork an oil leak. TS prove more capable at the job than BP. It leaves me wondering if BP CEO Tony Hayward could be made into a successful cork for the ongoing leak.


I felt like a kid again watching these comedies. No doubt, I was able to relate to the Stooges as a child because they seemed to have a lot of the same problems that I had at the time. A child can certainly relate to the Stooges' disagreeable response to being immunized for space travel in Space Ship Sappy.

Other volumes in The Three Stooges Collection included 21 to 24 shorts but this volume includes a total of 32 shorts at the same price. This is fair compensation for the shorts dominated by stock footage.


If I had a genie, I would first wish for a billion dollars and the end of war and disease. Then, I would wish for The Three Stooges Collection Volume 9 with all new shorts starring Moe, Larry, Curly and Shemp.

Until the next time, I wish you all pleasant dreams.

14 Versions of the Mirror Routine that Never Dies
















Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Nine Lives of Tyler Labine


Comedy is a treacherous business. I have a soft spot for a comedian who is having a hard time (unless that comedian is Dane Cook). Tyler Labine, a portly and wisecracking comic actor in the vein of Jack Black, has definitely been having a hard time. Labine may be adept at making me and my son laugh, but he has repeatedly failed to attract an adequate audience on television. He has starred in three short-lived series in the last four years. Invasion was canceled after 22 episodes, Reaper was canceled after 31 episodes and, now, Sons of Tucson was canceled after a mere 4 episodes. Any other funnyman would have exhausted his welcome with network executives, but Labine has something that the executives like. CBS has already cast the actor in a comedy series called True Love. Besides his television projects, Labine has a starring role in a forthcoming comedy-horror film called Tucker & Dale vs Evil. I extend my wishes for Lapine's eventual success.